“I have a theory. My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced, with all the people we’ve ever known, and it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that play and replay in our minds over and over again. A moment of impact. A moment of impact whose potential for change has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together, making them closer than before. While sending others, spinning off into great ventures, landing where you never thought you’d find them. You see, that’s the thing about moments like these, you can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how they’re going to affect you. You’ve just got to let the colliding particles land where they may, and wait, until the next collision.”

There are many moments in my life that will never be forgotten. Some good, some bad. I, like all, have many regrets. My responses, reflexes, to some of these ‘collisions’ were not apt. Some I did not realise the severity of, I was wronged in ways no one should and I’m only now perceiving them as I should have then. Weird, that only now I am floored as one should be when such a colossal moment of significant destruction hits them. Due to such a delay its almost as if I have made these moments of suffering acceptable, I can’t now make a fuss, that’d be wrong right? No one wants to delve into the past, what is dead and buried should stay that way? It is for this reason that I need to find a way to get them off my chest without causing social implications. I’m just not sure that is even possible. How does one heal after what… I guess in terms of ‘impact’, would be likened to a meteor storm?

Anyhow, we ‘are the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced’ and everything experienced can be a lesson learned and every lesson learned has a beneficial value, small or large. Maybe the key to hurtling forward through life is to focus on the positive that can be squeezed out..Converting to the idealist optimist that I detest may be best?

However, one must not forget in all this that there are moments of perfection. It is in these that I am guilty. I cherish them now, but I wish in the moment I saw their irrefutable beauty… Despite this, I now know them to be the moments that will drag me through the worst. They are irreplaceable, priceless and unprecedented, as are the people that created them.